Most of what we celebrate today seems to be perfect on the outside. The best relationships, the best social media set up, the best company, the best x. We prioritize being "the best" in whatever made up competition we have with whatever faceless entity we're fighting.
What I've discovered for myself, is aiming to be "the best" nearly always nets a loss. Anytime I focus on being the greatest, I involve my ego (which gets destroyed), I create an "us vs. them" mentality (which alienates me), and I'm concerned about metrics or positioning that has nothing to do with why I'm there in the first place. In fact, I usually make up the whole competition in the first place where being best doesn't actually even exist.
Before England was the dominant force in cycling, they were actually pretty terrible. Coach after coach would pressure the riders to be the best, but inevitably they would lose over and over. It wasn't until they transitioned their thinking to being "better" in small, aggregated ways that they actually saw constructive progress. Have a 1% better transition. Have a 1% better race suit. All of these "betters" added up to, well, better. Aiming to be the best added up to demoralization, but focusing on improvement created alignment and purpose. It was "possible" as opposed to "some dream". And the rest is history, by aiming to be better, they actually became the best.
I've found this true in my personal life in training for crucibles. I'm small. I'm not that strong. And the people I work with could chuck me into orbit and eat me for breakfast. I will never, never be the best in the group. But there is no need for me to be; my objective is to become 1% better today. I'm not that fast, so I'll never do a sub 5:00 mile run. But I can go 1 second faster than last time. I can't hold a 50 pound weight overhead for hours. But I can go 1 second longer than last time. Focusing on what I can accomplish right now to be slightly better has more of a profound impact on actually moving forward than focusing on how I'm not the best. And "better" is trackable; so you can see where to take action. "Best" is, just, a destination.
I've also found this to be true in product. Yes, we as companies are competing against other companies in the same market. But aiming all of our attention on how to be the best doesn't really generate any executable tasks. "Beat ACME co" has no tangible plan. But roll products to market with 2% better retention does. Improve user engagement by 0.5% is possible and actionable. It also gives space for when things go backwards. The mantra of better lets us pick the pieces up and improve. Even your teammates benefit from being better and not the best. No one wants to work with "the best (asshole)." We all know that tool. But everyone is elevated when the culture is set to be 1% better everyday. Everyone wins when people celebrate progress. It allows for mistakes. It allows for risks. Write a slightly better spec. Hold slightly more impactful meetings. It's sexy to want to 10X everything, and I understand the mentality in some areas. But some things (in fact, most things), take time and incremental progress.
Aiming for being the best has never been a path to winning for me. But when you're focused on incremental gains, looking just at yourself, and when you're focused on being better in each category than you were yesterday, you'll look up one day and realize you have momentum and a habit of improvement. You'll see how far down the track you've gotten without even realizing it. I was not the best by far at any of my crucibles. But by being just 1% better as often as I possibly could, I went from a struggling, weak guy to someone whose forged mental toughness as an elite athlete. And I still have a long way to go. "Better" is the path.
Don't #bebest. Be better. Better teammate, better leader, everyday. Hooyah.
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